"Sometimes, I give myself the creeps!"

There are times when I think of running away. To some other city, country, world…any place, where I won’t have those goddamn voices chasing me, haunting me, scaring the shit out of me! And then there are times, when I don’t feel like coming out of my den. Hiding in comforting darkness, I have my thoughts, dreams and fantasies keeping me sedated, near oblivious of the world around. I lie on my bed, wrapped in comforting numbness, and shun the world at large.

There are times when I feel I have it in me to own the world, to queen over it. And when I have those sudden spurts of confidence, I find an unfamiliar zest for life pulsing through me, pounding in my blood, asking me to go and grab what I deserve. And for the rest of the time, when I am no longer hung over from spirits, I find my confidence hitting the bottom with a clank! I retreat to a corner, shying away from prying eyes, lying smiles.

There are times when I give free rein to the kid inside me. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand, not caring about kohl, mascara or any other facade that I have put on. Laughter rings out – loud, pure and clear. At times other than this, am a young lady, all prim and proper, my silence intimidating, my looks deceiving. And then there are times, when I hover in between – who am I, where am I going? For whom am I going? Is there anyone out there, waiting for me?

Sometimes, I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me.

It all keeps adding up, I think I am cracking up.

Am I just Paranoid? Am I just Stoned?
(Basket Case, Green Day)